Adultery

I Have this burden on my heart to share some thoughts on a thorny matter.
If I have to give this ‘matter’ a title, it will have to be long title like William Wilberforce’s book:A Practical view of the prevailing religion system of professed Christians in the higher and middle classes in this country, contrasted with Real Christianity’. My title will be the following:

A code of conduct as a helpful aid in protecting Real Christians from the sin of adultery / emotional adultery / marital unfaithfulness and other smaller not-easily recognizable sins relating to Real Christian Marriages and Friendships.

The essence of this matter I cannot put in better words than those of Frank Peretti in the introduction to his book, ‘The Oath’

Sin is the monster we love to deny.
It can stalk us, bite a slice out of our lives, return again and bite again, and even as we bleed and hobble, we prefer to believe nothing has happened. That makes sin the perfect monster, a man-eater that blinds and numbs its victims, convincing them that nothing is wrong and there is no need to flee, and then consumes them at its leisure.
We’ve all been assailed by this beast, sometimes face-to-face but all too often from a direction we aren’t prepared to defend, and it’s only in recognizing the beast for what it is that we can hope to escape at all. In Jesus Christ we are forgiven and empowered to overcome sin, but opening the door and tossing the beast kitchen scraps of our character is no way to drive it off. Toying with an animal that is actually toying with us is a sure way to lose part of ourselves.
I was watching it happen to some friends of mine the year I began writing ‘The Oath’. As the rest of us just kept on praising the Lord, loving one another, smiling, and trying not to be judgemental, some real good people walked stupidly, blindly into the jaws of sin. The tooth marks still show today, in ruined marriages and soiled ministries. The rest of us should have said something.

In the Oath, I tried to say something through a vicious drama. I gave sin a form, an identifiable embodiment hell-bent to consume the hero. I chose an obscure, remote setting because sin shies from examination just as vermin flee from the light, and in this place, there are no rules. Denial is easy, and sin is protected. The consequences of course, play out just as they do in so many real lives: we’ve all seen friends, relatives, and fellow believers dragged out the door by a pet that got to big to control. Some have managed to come back, bleeding and bruised, hopefully healing and wiser. Some have never come back at all. And some of us have been there.
The Oath is a story we’ve all had a part in, to one degree or another. And years later, it still cries out the same warning God gave Cain:
Sin is crouching at the door, and it wants you, but you must overcome it.’ Frank E. Peretti July 2003

Leading a Life Group of our church, we are aware of the hurt, pain and destruction caused by the monster of sin that infiltrates church community; especially sin that threaten marriages. Thus we have a code of conduct for our life group:

No cross-gender communication outside our meetings.

Looking at the destruction the enemy has done under the mantle of Christian-based friendships, one can not be all brave and holy by having the attitude of:

“Oh , But it won’t happen in our group, we all love the Lord and each other as Christian brothers and sisters should “

Our salvation is by Grace and no goodness of our own. We must guard against becoming spiritually proud, thinking we are beyond certain sins common to mankind. Our very own hearts might deceive us !

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? Jer 17:9

The Lord Jesus taught us, us Real Christians, with good reason, to daily pray:” ...Give us today our daily bread. Forgive our debts....lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one.” Matt 6:11 -13.

He knows our fallen human nature to well. He knows we can not overcome sin and temptation in our own strength or by our own good intentions.

If Paul , one of God’s chosen apostles, can confess the following, who are we to think we ‘have arrived’ as Real Christians ?

So I find this law at work; When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For my inner being I delight in God’s law, but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work in my members. What a wretched man I am ! Who will rescue me from this body of death ? Thanks be to God – through Jesus Christ our Lord ! Romans 7;21-25

Some Christian friends find a code of conduct odd ; as if Real Christians should not need something like that.

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 1John 1:8

So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall ! 1 Cor 10:11

Lets be Real Christians, working out our salvation in fear and trembling, living lives fully dependent on our God. Praying daily for forgiveness of sin , freedom from temptation and deliverance from the schemes of the evil one. Lets help each other, in tangible ways, like a code of conduct, to stay on the narrow road.

The Lord can and will use our very weaknesses to show Himself strong in our lives. Let’s not play church. Let’s not be deceived. Only the Word itself is able to separate soul from spirit- the vile from the precious inside your very heart.

The Word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Heb 4:12

Draw close to God and He will draw close to you. Ask the author of Love how to best love your fellow Christian friends, all the while guarding the doors to your heart against the sin crouching there; waiting for an entrance into your live, which will have devastating consequences.